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celicaricer999
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Name: Edmund
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Francisco
Birthday: 1/10/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: Singing, rapping, web design, drawing/sketching, videogames, cooking, cycling, tennis, chillin' w/ my friends, car stuff, ddr, working on the celica n mk3 supra
weblogs (a little old now here
Expertise: web design, science n math, graphic design, photoshop, drawing/sketching (yes, i do create my own backgrounds), music, raving, ddr, video games, knowledge bout carz.
Being me
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  celicaricer999
AIM:  woai2nfinity
Member Since:
6/2/2003
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| Got back late from work a little amused in a morbid, but curious sort of way. So basically my workplace is near an senior nursing home, and I've noticed something very interesting. Since I tend to get assigned to work on all holidays or days close to them, I'll be there overlapping a little into the next day by 30 minutes or so. When Christmas arrives, I'll notice that there would be an ambulance, fire truck and police that arrive at the senior home about 20 minutes or so after midnight, basically 911 emergency. Same went for New Years this year, as well as today, the day after Valentine's Day. The question is, do people stick around long enough to see that day? In the event of Christmas, is parting from this world a gift? Is there someone greater than us that decides this, or does that person hold out with their will long enough to that point? In the case of today, it seems that it's just long enough to make it through the holiday before parting.
It's funny (not the death part) that I notice as I get older, I'm less sure about what I believe in. When I was younger, I always seemed to have a set of things that I always held true in my mind and heart. While I do have a better bearing on what I want to do in life, such as getting better at dancing, getting better at cooking, making music, having a successful and chill job, owning a house, getting married, having track day weekends to have some fun, and teaching my kids well, my entire belief system is probably non-existent.
For example, who remembers when they were a kid that anyone that was way older than them, such as if you were 7 and someone else was 25, they would seem to be all knowing, be good at everything, and could basically be a hero who has no fears about anything in life. Then when you get older, at some point, you realize that they're no different than you, that they have their flaws, and their own fears. In the end, we're all people who are scared, and unsure. Maybe this is a part of becoming more mature and older; Realizing the fact that no matter how sure adults seem to be, it's just a cover for the fears that reside within.
I guess that's also the fun in life. Not knowing where to go, not sure of what to do, and walking in circles being lost. Life itself is a journey, not a destination, mind as well enjoy the path between the cradle and the grave.
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| Promises, how often do we mean what we say?
When we make appointments, is that considered a promise? Because if it were, that'd be a lot of broken promises in this world. I know that I'm guilty of this on more than one occasion (more like a crapload).
When we agree to meet up at a certain time and cancel later, is that considered a broken promise?
When we make new years resolutions, but never follow through with them, do we call those broken promises to ourselves?
When we say, "I promise", how often do we break that?
For me, I started a new way to hold myself accountable for whenever I make a serious promise beyond a "hang out that falls through" , or "I'll send my notes at 5pm" type of thing. Instead, it's more like "I'm going to be super serious and take on the new quarter with all I've got. No drinking, no partying for one entire month." Every time I make a promise to myself, I make it on my titanium chain and ring. It's not just a style accessory, but a way to remind myself, "I promised". Titanium, because, it's one of the strongest metals, and I want my promises to have that same strength to carry through. Titanium can be scraped, but is resistant to being broken or bent. As such, no matter the difficulties, the scrapes and bruises, I don't want to bend either. As to the latest promise of not drinking/partying for one month, I got it right down to the day, hour, and minute exact. No "well it's close enough" 's for me. While I could say, "I'm going to get an A in ______ class", that isn't exactly realistic, since I could study, but maybe my ability isn't A-class. Instead, I'd rather say "I'll do my best, put my best effort in it, and whatever the outcome, I promise that I'll be satisfied knowing that it was my all."
So what exactly would I promise on it next? Maybe, to learn one new skill, and pick one skill that I already know and improve on it. That would be a 100% new years resolution if i do promise it.
Quote of the Day: At the end of the day, the only person who decides to keep a promise is oneself.
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| Ok, so a late new years post by me, or right on time for lunar new year. Goals for this year include the usual. Work on dancing, music, car, and cooking. In addition, I want to pickup one new skill for this year. Since everyone seems to be doing 25 things, I'll do 5 questions 5 things since I'm on a tight schedule. 5 questions 1. If someone gave you the chance to have any ability you want at the expense of 1/2 of your remaining time in the world, would you do it? 2. Would you be a Jedi or a Sith? 3. What type of vehicle do you envision yourself driving at age 35? 4. Do you believe that opportunities always exist, they just need to be found? 5. Did you ever think when you were in grade school (let's say 4th grade), you would be where you are and who you are here and now? Where did you envision that you would be in your life and who did you think you would become back then? 5 Things About Me 1. I always aspire to reach a higher level of cooking. There are some days where I'll just heat soup, but eventually I'll end up in the cullinary mood. Even though I like cooking/food, I absolutely dislike working in the food industry as a job. 2. I love watching Disney movies. There's a lot that I get from it now, more than before when I was younger. 3. Commitment is not an issue. Ie. I already know exactly how I want to propose. (2 of my roommates know the details.) 4. I'm more of a dinner and wine guy, but that doesn't mean that I can't pound 8 shots of Hennessey, no chase. 5. I used to put "quote of the day"'s down on the very end of every blog. Quote of the Day: The root cause of fighting is misunderstanding. | | |
| Yeah, it's been a while since I've written a blog here on xanga, but I'm back.
Don't know why the parentals fight more over the Christmas break. It's not like buying stuff is stressing them out, because we don't even buy anything. If there's one thing that i might miss about college after it's all over, it'll be having a place to get away from it all. In either case, I'm old enough to endure it. It's just awkward, and furthermore, it just makes me wonder about my future. I don't want to be like them. I don't want to argue like that and make my kid(s) feel awkward about being at home. It was sort of like that last year, and it's starting to feel just the same. Perhaps I should start going to work more. Less time at home, more outside the house. It's also the reason why I love headphones. If anything, it's my isolation from the world because all I hear is the music that flow from the wires and into my ears.
Voices and Beats
I listen to the beats
I listen to the voices
But these voices and beats
they do not come from around me
no
Beats and voices from wires
As they flow from this thinness
the voices soothe me from the voices
And the beats masks the nervous beating of my heart
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Honestly, there's a few things that I wish for this Christmas, one would to have it be peaceful at home. Another thing is what I've wished for ever since I was in preschool and 4 years old. I wish for the essentially the same thing every Christmas and every birthday.
Whoever said wisdom, patience, and maturity comes with age probably hasn't visited this house before.
And so with everything that's happened, and for what I still hope, I realize that a lot of what I do is inspired
-drawing/sketching
-photoshopping wallpapers (I used to do this, maybe I'll go back to it one day)
-composing songs and singing
-writing lyrics and poetry
-photography
-playing online games
-working on my car (it's a way to get out of the house, and since I could get my driver's license, it's been my symbol of freedom. With it, I could go far, far away and escape it all.)
Probably the decision that I'm most proud of this year is switching my major from Biochemical Engineering to Hydrology. Looking back on previous blogs, I really believe that it was the right thing to do. I wasn't really that interesting in that topic, and I wasn't doing very well in that topic either. If I had stayed, I probably would've failed out of UC Davis. In any case, I'm really enjoying what I'm doing now. Guess when you're young, certain things you do or have interest in tends to carry with you all your life. In some form or anotherm everything on that list and my major all had some form that it sprouted from when I was younger. I don't think any of it just "appeared".
With that, I think this will be my year in closing blog. Maybe there'll be another.
And with that, I leave a quote of the day, just like I used to.
Quote of the Day: What is love?
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| Everything is alright now. Sigh, can't it just be peaceful all the time? I desire peace.
As of now, the other two posts will become private here on xanga.
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